So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
