I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
