Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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