Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Let's paint friendship bongs
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
