Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize