As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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