can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
