Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
