why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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