If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
