I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
