I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
