a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
