Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I wish I could teleport
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize