at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
