Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
