So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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