Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
