Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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