I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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