I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize