You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
