yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
