school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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