i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
