Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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