I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
