why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Oh god it's open bar.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
