Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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