Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
