wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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