Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
