well I can't set my house on fire every night
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
