Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
