I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
