Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
