I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
