Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
my sisters under your porch take her home
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
