8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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