thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
