I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
