Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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