Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
