She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
