I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My vagina is officially offended.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
