Hey man sorry I got all grabby
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
