if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
