i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
