I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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