i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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