no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
