I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
