I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
