Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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