i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
