I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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