I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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