Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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