You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
