If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize