but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
