Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
