ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
