I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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