She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
