is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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