have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
