he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
